Terms of Being a Bigfoot Minister

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Welcome to the Woods

You’ve found your way to the Church of Bigfoot, where mystery meets ministry. By filling out our ordination form, you’re doing more than joining a group—you’re stepping into the footprints of the Blurry Masses, the Pine-Scented Prophets, and the Mossy-Minded Misfits.

Here’s what happens when you join:

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• You become a spiritually recognized Bigfoot Minister (blurry photo not required).

• You officially join a global tribe of Sasquarriors, Squatchalites, and curious wanderers.

• You can symbolically ordain your pet. Warning: raccoons are notoriously unreliable when it comes to paperwork.

• You’ll gain access to member resources and a community that won’t ask you “pics or it didn’t happen.”

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This is your trailhead. From here, the forest opens.

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Membership and Ordination

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You must be 16 or older to get ordained. If you’re under 18, your ordination is still real in the eyes of the Church, but governments might not recognize you as someone who can legally marry people. (To be fair, governments don’t usually recognize Bigfoot either, so you’re in good company.)

Every state and country has its own rules. Some may accept you immediately, others may ask for extra paperwork, and a few might just stare blankly, like campers who just heard a twig snap at midnight.

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As a Minister of Bigfoot, you’re expected to carry yourself with respect, kindness, and curiosity. Bless marriages, trails, campfires, or even fishing trips—but do so with sincerity.

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Need proof for a ceremony? Certificates and letters of good standing are available. Courthouses tend to frown on “trust me, Bigfoot said it’s fine.”

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Representing the Church of Bigfoot

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Being ordained makes you part of our forest family, but it doesn’t mean you can sign contracts or make official statements on behalf of the Church. You’re a guide, not the spokesperson for the entire blurry herd.

Pet ordinations are a thing. Your dog can be a Minister. Your goldfish can be a Minister. Your pet tarantula? Sure, though we strongly recommend against having it crawl across the bride’s bouquet mid-ceremony.

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Community Conduct

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Our community is like the woods: wild, diverse, and worth protecting.

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• Respect others. Harassment, hate speech, or being a jerk will get you exiled faster than a camper who refuses to put food in the bear bag.

• Inclusion matters. All backgrounds, beliefs, and life paths are welcome. If Bigfoot doesn’t judge, neither should we.

• Privacy is sacred. Don’t repost or share other members’ content outside the Church unless you have their permission. What happens around the campfire stays around the campfire.

• Remember: advice shared by members is personal, not official. If someone tells you Bigfoot prefers trail mix without raisins, that’s their truth—not Church doctrine.

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Communication

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When you join, you’ll get updates such as:

• News and announcements about the Church of Bigfoot.

• Resources, tips, and legal how-tos for Ministers.

• Reflections, forest wisdom, and occasional jokes (because even Bigfoot knows life’s too short not to laugh).

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If you don’t want emails, you can unsubscribe anytime. Bigfoot may sulk for a minute, but he’ll get over it.

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Legal and Liability Notes

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The Church of Bigfoot is legally recognized in the USA, but the rules of governments are as unpredictable as Bigfoot’s travel patterns. Some places may welcome you, others may say “who?” That’s on them, not us.

We do our best to keep our community safe, but trolls sometimes sneak in—just like raccoons at a campsite. Report them, and we’ll handle it.

Original content shared by members is their property. Don’t steal it. Bigfoot’s got big feet, and stepping on toes is his specialty.

We may update these terms at any time. Think of it like a new trail opening in the forest—you’ll want to check the map now and then.

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Closing Words

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By joining the Church of Bigfoot, you’re not just filling out a form—you’re stepping into a movement. A little mysterious, a little funny, and a whole lot meaningful.

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Maybe you’ll marry your best friends under the stars, bless a trail before a hike, or just add “Ordained Bigfoot Minister” to your résumé (guaranteed to confuse at least one HR manager).

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Whatever brings you here, you’re welcome.

May your journey be filled with wonder, kindness, and the occasional distant howl.

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Welcome to the Church of Bigfoot.